Binx The Clown ran his white gloved hand between his itchy, green haired wig and his actual skull and scratched feverously. He had been a licensed clown for over 15 years, but he could never get over the itch of the wigs. Binx dropped his hand as the camera guy made a motion, to let him know that they will be filming in a matter of seconds. As the color commentator for New Line Wrestling’s taped, weekly TV show, NLW Adrenaline, he was use to filming a few extra spots for filler time; didn’t mean he liked the colorful wigs! The man behind the camera made a pointing gesture and the red light burned brightly, it was show time!
Binx put on a goofy smile and a small, scandalous giggle escaped his painted lips. Binx did enjoy playing the heel, or ‘bad guy’. He finally spoke, his voice forcibly higher pitched than his real voice.
“Welcome NLW fans to another fix of Adrenaline! What a card we have lined up for you tonight. Fresh off his impressive victory over number one contender “The Devil” Jihad Sullivan, Jason Turtle is set to face off against “The Devil’s” little stooge, The Silencer,” Binx took a breath. Luckily for him, he can take as many breathers as he wished during the tapings. It was the live pay per views that was a test.
“Speaking of Jihad. As we saw last week, he is set to face our World Heavyweight champion, Onyx the Corpse live on July 3rd at Declaration of Violence. Can the champion, with his mystifying ability to tap into the world of the supernatural, retain against his arch rival Jihad Sullivan? I mean Jihad has a [bleeping] cult! Nick “Fade” Gordy was the greatest lover in the world before he was brainwashed,” Binx paused and shifted his eyes. “At least according to what Rachel told me. Shannon Shooter too,” he added the last part with ‘winking’ eyebrows.
“Also we have Pig Vomit defending their tag team titles against the team of Genocide and Brimstone in a glass table match. Plus much more,”
Binx cleansed his jaw firmly as a slender yet strong blond female joined him on the scene. Shannon Shooter was a huge fan favorite since she joined NLW. Skilled in the ring, vicious on the microphone and a sex symbol on camera, she had no place to go but up. Backstage though, she’s very soft spoken and even shy. Shannon took the microphone from Binx’s hand. The clown took a step back as Shannon’s anger was radiant. “Binx, I’m getting sick and tired of your misogyny comments as of late. I’ve busted my ass getting to the top of NLW,”
Binx leaned in into the microphone, “If you busted your ass—then why is it so fat?”
Binx didn’t even see the slap coming, though he knew it was coming. The slap was loud and painful. Shannon bent her fingers and smudges of clown paint remained on her fingers as Binx held his face, falling over. She looked at the camera with a fierce look in her eyes.
Leaning close to the mirror, Billy applied the last small details to his face paint for the show. The bone white color was a sharp contrast to his black complexion. He tilted his head to the side and picked up the contact lenses and pushed it against his eye. In doing so to the other side, he lost all pigmentation in his eyes, giving them a white, albino look. Thankfully he never lost any vision from the change. He blinked to make sure they both fit correctly. He looked to his side to Chantelle, his onscreen manger. She was dressed in an all-white corset, which hugged her curves and much like Billy’s face paint; her corset was also a sharp contrast with her ebony complexion.
Billy spoke in a prim and proper type of English accent, “I truly despise this character, Chantelle. Every time we go to the ring, I have to do some kind of dance that reminds me of Epilepsy and speak in that dreaded Cajun language,” Billy shook his head, “Father insisted I learn a foreign language and I had to be sarcastic with Cajun!”
Chantelle took a swing from the beer bottle was had in her hand. However, when she spoke it was a more street punk, Sex Pistols-like English, “Yeah, I hear you Billy. I have to put on a smile and act like a fucking beauty queen with an innocent poise. I want to get into the fucking ring, like Shannon, hell even how the other chicks wrestle each other. But no, that wanker Jim E. James says it’s best for the English people to stick together,”
“I sense some racial tension in that purpose. We’re both ebony toned and I’m the world champion, have been the last year and a half. I think American politics have entered our… ‘prestigious’ wrestling company,”
“Americans are too fucking thin skinned.” Sniped Chantelle as she took the last swig.
A knock at the door interrupted the two complaints. The door squeaked open and a man with long black hair, both arms riddled with tattoos walked in. His face paint was much more vivid, with his skull structure; the dull gray paint traced every inch to form a frightening skull mask. He had on a t-shirt that read his wrestling group, the Violent New Breed and black wrestling trunks. He gave a smile to the two.
“Gregory, m’boy,” welcomed Billy. “I’m glad you’re here. We need to go over the spot for tonight. Mr. James said something about a flaming whip,”
Greg nodded, “Yeah I heard something like that. If that isn’t build up to our match at the pay per view, I don’t know what is,”
Chantelle just stared at Greg, “Dude, did you get a new makeup person? You look fucking scary,”
Greg laughed, “Thank you, Chan. And yes I did. The Mrs. took over for makeup,”
Billy sat down on the spinning chair in front of the mirror, “How’s your knee? That Turtle chap seemed quite vicious,”
Greg waved him away, “I’m fine. The clown gave me some pills and I’m better now. And Turtle is just green. I like his style but he’ll learn how to pull off spots better,”
“How the fuck did he hollow out that turtle shell?” Chantelle wondered out loud.
Greg snickered, “Who said he did? That’s why I was actually knocked out. It was a shoot. I didn’t feel the pain ‘til I woke up,”
Billy shook his head, “See this is why I dislike American wrestling. It’s a spotfest with chairs, tables… and turtle shells. I miss the sweet science of the sport, like we have back in England,”
“That’s a snapping turtle,” NLW owner Jim E. James said bluntly. There was an edge of shock in his voice. He was staring at an actual, live snapping turtle backstage at one of his events! Jason Turtle held the beast like a professional. He better, turns out he owns it! “Why is there a snapping turtle?”
Jason raised an eyebrow, “You approved of it, bossman. I was bringing a special guest and you said okay,”
“I thought you meant like a fan… or an indy guy. NOT A SNAPPING TURTLE!”
“Keep your voice down, boss. He scares easy,”
Jim’s jaw just dropped and there was a small twitch in his neck. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Is that a live turtle?” asked a new voice. From behind the camera man, holding a cup of coffee was Dennis. The pretty boy blond played the ‘brainwashed’ tag partner of Jihad Sullivan, Nick “Fade” Gordy. He took a sip of coffee.
“Yes it is,” Jason beamed. “Raised him since he was a hatchling,”
“So why is it here?” Dennis asked.
“For a promo,” informed Jason. “I think it’s appropriate with me winning last week from a turtle shell,”
Denis laughed, “I can see a whole year long angle of turtle puns, kid,”
“I’m sure you do,” Jim muttered.
“Boss… is that-“
“Yes it is,” Jim snapped. He looked back and his snappiness turned to confusion. Behind him is the residential prankster, Eddie. He had on a thick yellow jacket and padded jeans. Behind him was a man with a beard, backward ball cap and trenchcoat. “Why are you dressed up like Jay and Silent Bob?”
Eddie shifted his eyes, “It’s a joke. We’re supposed to reveal our new tag team tonight. Remember?”
“No. And I don’t remember letting Turtle bring in a fucking turtle either!”
“You promised,” Eddie whined.
Jim gave him a clipboard, “Write for next week. Then you can reveal it however you want. Except for the-“
Eddie took the clipboard, wrote three simple letters at an early slot and gave it back to Jim. The two ran off cackling. Jim could only describe it as two ferrets running with something shiny.
Jim looked back at the scene that is about to be taped. Denis went to go pet the animal when all of the sudden, the turtle jerked up and bit his hand. A collective gasp filled the area. After the initial moment of shock, Dennis bellowed loudly in pain. The turtle got startled and let go. Dennis retracted his hand, which blood just gushed out from the wound.
“Medics!” called Jim.