Chapter Four:
IHOP

 

 The cool air conditioning filled the restaurant, creating a fog on the glass every time the door opened. It was a hot and humid night and Serenity was glad that her first shift at IHOP was filed with easy (and sometimes stoned) customers and cool air.
 One of her tables was the stoned crowd. Billy, Ryan, Mark and Jen ate from the appetizer sampler, awaiting their midnight dinner. Or would it be breakfast to them on the count it’s nearly one in the morning?
 “You never answered the question Jen,” Ryan insisted. “If you could have any superpower what would it be and who would be your nemesis?”
 Jen leaned back and thought with a smirk, “I’d turn invisible so I can spy on people. As for a nemesis I’d pick Lex Luthor. You know he hasn’t been laid in years and would do anything,” she leaned against the table seductively, “For a woman in distress.”
 Billy’s jaw dropped as he stared at Jen’s cleavage, his half chewed cheese stick dangling from his mouth. Ryan even tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. Jen laughed and leaned back.
 “I’m sort of upset we never ran into that clown,” Mark said. “I mean with all that hype you think a dude like him would show.”
 “He’s trying to run to Cuba,” Billy said. “Why would he be hanging out? Seriously dumb-dumb.”
 “You can’t walk to Cuba,” Mark said with his eyes closed.
 Ryan looked at the table, “We need syrup.”

 Ryan turned back to the two men behind him who were engaged in a serious discussion. Ryan listened in before asking for syrup.
 “Earl, you need to get out quick. You escaped with grand expertise, now it’s time to get a move on.”
 “Binx, we’re in an IHOP nearly across town from the jail and thanks to you I’m in street clothes. There is no way people will know I’m Beepo.”
 “Not if you keep saying you are. That waitress bitch almost caught us. She knew you were a clown.”
 “No, she thought you were the clown from your stupid wrestling show.”
 “Dumb bitch thinks I’m her baby daddy. It’s why I got a vasectomy.”
 “Smart move… May I help you?”
 Ryan jerked a bit, surprised they saw him. “Hey you guys got syrup?”
 “You weren’t eavesdropping were you?” the man named Earl snarled.
 “Yeah, Binx the Clown is shooting blanks. Now about the syrup…”
 Binx gave Ryan the entire trey of syrups and his face gleamed. “Thank you clown dude!”

 Jen tilted her heads, “Those were clowns?”
 Ryan just shrugged, “Maybe. Said one of them can’t have kids.”
 Mark frowned, “Poor guy. Having kids would be a great experience.”
 “Says who?” snapped Billy, “Kids are the worst STD.”
 Jen shrugged as well, “Can’t argue there.”
 Serenity came up to the group a few minutes later, much to the joy of the group. “Everything good?”
 Billy already had his bacon and egg cheeseburger in his mouth when his eyes widen and a muffled scream was heard. “Yes Billy, it’s hot.”
 “Can I have some more Irish in my coffee?” Ryan asked.
 Serenity shook her head, “For the 10th time, Ryan, its Irish CREAM coffee.”
 “So that’s a no?”
 “You gave me a frowny face on my pancakes,” Mark frowned.
 “It’s upside down, Mark.”
 “Thank you Serenity,” Jen smiled.
 Serenity nodded and went back to the other table where the two clowns are. “I can swear I know you from somewhere.”

 Halfway through the meal and the jokes Billy was looking outside as the effects of the weed has ran its course. However, he starts to laugh hysterically. His friends stopped chewing and stared at him. “What’s up?” asked Jen.
 Billy could just point and forced back his laughter. “Biscuit… top…”
 “Biscuit top?”
 Billy shook his head. “No, no… hehe… Her top, haha…”
 “Breathe!” Mark yelled.
 Billy nodded, “That chick, haha… It looked, haha… like a can of… hehe… biscuits popped open.”
 “A can of biscuits popped open?” Ryan raised an eyebrow.
 Billy pointed to the door and his friends looked. They wanted to see what he was laughing about. Within a few moments, they saw. A tall man in a high school letterman jacket came in with a short and plump tan girl. The black halter top and tight jeans did nothing but expose the excess fat and somewhat curves. She had a smile on her face and but a distant look in her eye. The hostess walked them by to a nearby seat.

 Mark jumped up, “ASHLEY!?”
 The laughing stopped. It was Mark’s girlfriend with another guy! Ashley’s eyes widen and her jaw dropped. Caught in the act.
 Mark lunged forth grabbing her by the arms, “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in St. Augustine?”
 Ashley didn’t say anything. The jock stood up, “Watch it buddy. You never lay your hands on a woman.”
 Serenity entered the scene, “What’s going on—Ashley? Jack?”
 The jock’s eyes widen, “Whoa Serenity, I didn’t do anything.”
 Billy whispered to Jen, “My god did Serenity sleep with everyone?”
 “Why do you think she slept with him?”
 “You’re only scared of Serenity if you fucked her.”

 “What’s going on?” barked Serenity.
 “This asshole hits his pregnant girl!” the jock yelled, pointing at Mark.
 “I don’t hit… wait, pregnant!?”
 Ashley’s face flushed, “This isn’t how I wanted you to know.”
 Mark glared, “How can this happen? The pill says once a day!”
 Ashley shook her head, “What do you care it’s not yours?”
 Silence struck the restaurant. Even the two quiet clowns in the corner stopped talking. Mark made a move for the jock but Ryan grabbed him.
 Ashley stepped between them, “It’s not his either… it’s Billy’s.”
 Billy snapped his head up, his eyes wide.  Jen’s jaw dropped and every set of eyes landed on the big Billy. “Uh… Oops.”
 “This is the part where you run,” Jen whispered.
 “Then let me out.”
 “I’m not moving, I’m too shocked.”
 The last thing Billy saw was Mark leaping into the air.

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