Binx took a swig from his bottled water. Taking a deep breath he tried to push the memory of last night out of his head. But no matter how many times he stared at his notes from the pay per view, he could still see the police officer’s steel like gaze. Binx took another swig of water, and then thought where Earl ran off to. He lost him at IHOP when two stoners started fighting over a girl. He sighed and then looked at his camera man; he was at the right storage facility this time, no more Eddie Stiles pranks. It was time to shoot the post-Hardcore Cookout Circus….
“Uh-oh! NLW is in trouble again! And it was all because of what happened on Hardcore Cookout. We are now suspended from television because we showed ONE match. Well here at the Circus, which is live only on the World Wide Web, Uncle Binx will tell you EVERYTHING that you missed. And not just the potato salad that my cousin Kinko brought over.
“The NLW first ever International Showcase match was a wrestling fans wet dream. It was hardcore, it was technical, it even had a new nut shots! Joe Rico, that crazy little jumping bean, injured himself when he did a 450 flip with a steel chair on Rekhyt! Well the idiot tilted the chair and broke his ribs. Rekhyt was sent back to Egypt to be mummified as well. Tommy “the Gun” Smith picked up the win when he pinned the injured Rico. Figures the Canadian would jump on an injured Mexican… Puerto Rican… Cuban? Anyone know where they said Jose Rico was from? I know Tim Dale, that idiot, said that Riley O’Hare is from Ireland when that red hair and pale skin is clearly Scotland!
“Next up was a Bitch match. No seriously, Sabrina Cox and Rachel were chained together like the dogs they were! Rachel ended up winning when Chris Cobain made his return! The reason? Cobain showed up naked as the day he was born, and rambling about ghosts and grunge. Hey Chrissy, the ‘90s called, they don’t want you back either!
“And for the racist portion of the show, the Singapore Cane watch between Tyrone Butler and Rocco “The High Roller” Rockefeller was interrupted when the NAACP stopped the match! They literally jumped the guard rails and stopped the match, because Tyrone Butler would have been caned like it was 1862. You don’t interrupt an NLW event! The health department couldn’t do it, the Athletic commission didn’t get away with it and they didn’t either. Tyrone Butler and Rockefeller put aside their differences and caned the NAACP! Jim E. Jones is expected to be in court next Tuesday.
“Okay the next watch reeked to high Heaven. The Douchebags did the impossible and made Pig Vomit smell better by throwing themselves into the dumpster! After the match Eddie Stiles stated in an interview he found his teddy bear he thought he lost. And Louie Heart thought he saw a case of beer that wasn’t finished yet. Pig Vomit is still the tag team champions.
“The Man with The Turtles did it again! Because Fade Gordy still hasn’t figured out his pain medication, he didn’t show up to be in the corner of his Violent New Breed partners. But Jason Turtle did have backup. The same snapping turtle that injured Fade Gordy! It ended up biting the referee’s shoe after the match.
“And in the main event it was history in the making. After a long, hard fought battle, with one of the most scientific wrestling matches seen in living memory, Shannon Shooter pinned the Devil himself. Shannon Shooter defeated Jihad Sullivan to be the first ever woman to win the NLW heavyweight championship. Her first challenger emerged right after her declared victory. Another shocking return- Curt Evans challenged Shannon Shooter!”
A knock at the door. Jim didn’t even look up, the familiar musky scent of cologne crept into his office. Breaking away from the words on paper he watched as the man in a light gray suit, with sleeked back hair, cross the short distance between the door and his desk. The dull brown eyes of the man looked at Jim, as if silently judging him.
Jim E. Jones leaned back against his chair. The sound of heavy breathing behind Jim was audible and the man in the suit casually glanced in the direction.
“So that’s him?”
Jim straightened up and narrowed his eyes. “Yes that is my adoptive son. I took him in when his mother kicked him out, gave him a home and a family that he needed. And when I took over NLW I even gave him a job.”
“You’re defensive, Jim.”
“I just read your memo, Bates. I will not fire Christopher because he showed up naked and drugged on a live pay per view. As far as many of the fans thought, it would be a new gimmick.”
“But we at the network know better. And we told you not to show any footage on the show. And you did.”
“It was of the handicap match. We had to put Jason over!”
“You still broke contract.”
“No we didn’t. We edited the footage so it had no mention of Christopher’s incident.”
“Then we’ll cancel you because of your ratings.”
“That is your fault, Bates! We are on Thursday at midnight. And we hardly get any advertisement! You set us up to fail, Bates.”
“That is disputable. We did nothing wrong, Jones. Is that really your name?”
“I… I don’t know,” Jim trailed off. He tried to keep his emotions in check when the stooge from the network was around.
Bates looked behind him and finally saw Christopher. Shaking in the corner, covered with a thick blanket, was the scrawny blonde haired man that ranted about the ghost of Kurt Cobain. Bates shook his head, knowing he was shivering from withdrawals.
“I thought he was out on bail.”
“Leave my personal life out of this, Bates.”
“But it’s now professional. How are you going to spin this? Will you keep letting your “son” take drugs before each show and rant about a dead rock star that just whined?”
“It’s better than leaving my son in Tijuana because I thought he was gay.”
Bates’ eyes widen in shock. “H-How do you know about that?”
A sly grin came to Jim’s face, “You don’t watch the program do you, Bates? Ever notice we have a really tall guy by the name of Abnormal Norman? He didn’t turn gay, don’t worry. But he did learn how to suplex other guys out of their boots. Mainly because he’s like 7 feet or something. Lanky as hell, reminds me of Gonzo stretched out.”
“Junior is here?”
“Not if you get the show canceled. You cancel the show, how else are we going to pay his family?”
“You didn’t know you are a grandfather, Bates? Beautiful kids. Two little girls, curly black hair, pearly white smiles. I think I have a picture of them somewhere…”
Bates shook his hand. “No… no. That’s alright. I think I’ll report to my bosses with high regards,” he said quickly. Tears of regret and guilt clogged his vision as he quickly left the room. Jim let out a sigh of relief.
“Good thing he left, Christopher… I ain’t got any pictures of those ugly babies.”
“You son of a bitch!”
Shannon lunged forward at the blonde haired man in front of her. Her cousin, Emily, held her back, which enraged her even more. She never took her eyes off of Curt as he remained seated on the comfortable recliner. A new hand jerked back Shannon, a stronger force. It was Greg. He still had pieces of his makeup stained to his face. He held Shannon back, whose face was red.
“How fucking dare you, Curt! How dare you weasel your way into the company after what you did!”
“Shannon please,” Emily begged. “Sasha is right outside. She’ll hear you.”
“Don’t defend him, Emily. You know what he’s doing! She’s just a starfucker, Curt and you know it.”
“Shannon calm down. You don’t know what kind of a witch Rachel really is. She’s almost a drug and now he’s hooked. He doesn’t know where he is half the time,” Greg urged as he struggled to keep a grip on her.
Curt remained silent as he stayed on the recliner. A glazed over look filled his eyes. Emily held back the tears as she remained, literally, between her cousin and her husband.
“I love him, Shannon. I can’t let him go. Sasha needs him too.”
“He’s just using you because once when Rachel is done with him she’ll spit him out! And he knows it.”
“I didn’t want to make a big scene, Shannon. I wanted Curt to tell me so we can work it out like a married couple.”
“Like his father? Curt Senior had the biggest collection of ring rats outside the Von Erich family.”
“Shannon you’re too angry right now. It was the Vachon family who were horn dogs. Von Erich were saints,” Greg slammed her onto the couch.
“He won’t even talk and man up,” breathed Shannon. “He just sits there, playing the victim.”
“Let her go, Greg,” Curt finally spoke.
The room went quiet and Curt stood up. Emotions were drained from his face, all but sadness.
“I said let her go. My father never owned up to his mistakes. But I will. I am not Curt Evans, Sr.! I’ve always been the better wrestler, but my morals were stunted by him. So please, Shannon. I beg you, do your worse. Do what my mother should have done to my father.”