Great Stoner Debate Series Prelude:
Should Sara-Beth know Billy is cheating?/ Where is North Korea?
“So where’s Mark?” asked Krystian as he settled down on the couch. Krystain wasn’t as slim as Ryan, due to his athletically toned build, but his hair was just as long and straight as Billy’s. Well, with the exception it’s tied into dread locks. He licked the paper to roll the joint.
“Billy pissed him off,” Ryan said as he sat on the other side of the couch.
“Billy pisses everyone off,” Krystain cackled. “You smoked his whole stash, didn’t you?”
Billy shook his head, “Knocked up his girlfriend.”
Krystain looked up, “Mark has a girlfriend? Funny, thought he was a fruit.”
“You knew he had a girlfriend. She drove him to your house to get his stash,” Ryan replied.
“I thought that was his sister.”
“Let me guess, you slept with her too?” Ryan rolled his eyes.
Krystian shook his head, “Hell no. I got more respect. I slept with his mom.”
“No, I really did.”
“Why?” Billy asked. “She’s so… old.”
Krystain grinned, “Fine wine, Billy. Fine wine.”
“I don’t drink.”
“Yes you do,” Ryan growled. “For the last time you smoke weed, you drink beer, you have unprotected sex and I seriously think you have a soda addiction. You are NOT straight edge.”
“But I am as straight as an edge.”
“That doesn’t help your case,” Krystain replied without looking up from his newly formed joint. “Some edges are jagged and even broken off. I don’t even know why they call it straight edge. I never seen a natural edge straight!”
“It’s from the phrase on the straight and narrow,” Ryan said. “When you drink you stumble, so you walk the line when you are sober. Hence it’s straight edge. The edge is not a cliff, it’s a line.”
“Then why do they call it edge and not a line?” Billy asked.
“Straight Line? I can think of a few reasons why they wouldn’t,” grinned Krystain.
“Rollerblades,” Ryan nodded.
“I was going to say coke.”
“What’s wrong with Pepsi?” Billy asked.
“Not that kind… Cocaine, Billy. Fuck sakes, are we going to spell everything out to him?”
Ryan nodded. “I don’t know why I hang out with him either.”
“I’m your favorite Silly Billy Bear!”
Krystain tried to hold back a giggle and Ryan rolled his eyes. Krystain, with laughter held back slowly asked, “You’re our… what”
“Silly Billy Bear.” He added a wide smile at the end for comical effect.
“Why is he our Silly Billy Bear? I don’t want a Silly Billy Bear or any kind of Care Bear reject.”
“But Krystain, you need your Silly Billy Bear. That’s what Ashley and the stripper says.”
“What stripper? Dude, I haven’t even lit up and you’re already seeing shit.”
“Sara-Beth the stripper is real!”
“You know her as Star Luck at Diamond Dolls,” Ryan explained.
Krystain dropped the joint and stared at Billy in disbelief, “YOU’RE THE REASON I CAN’T FUCK STAR LUCK!?”
“What?” Billy and Ryan asked in unison.
“Star Luck is the only stripper I haven’t fucked in the entire Tampa Bay area,” he explained “Chad and I have been trying for the longest time. We bagged everyone else but not her. That big ass, you just know it’s soft but not squishy. Her tits are one of the few that are not fake. But she won’t do anything past a circle jerk because she has and I’m quoting her a sweet, caring, stable and silly boyfriend who plans on purposing to her when they go to Paris for their anniversary.”
Billy blinked in amazement. Ryan looked over, “You’re going to Paris?”
“Uh…” Billy blinked again. “When’s my anniversary?”
“You don’t even know when-“ Krystain shook his head. “You’re a dog, Billy. I might sleep with random chicks but at least I do it when I’m single.”
“In his defense he forgot he’s even dating her.”
“How do you forget an ass like that!?”
Billy starched his head. “Uh…”
“I think someone should tell her. There are far too many guys who need a crack at that ass.”
“You’re not going to tell her are you?” Billy asked.
“Me? No. I’m your bro, I won’t do anything like that to you.”
“And they say there are no honor among stoners.”
“Thieves, Billy,” Ryan hung his head.
“But I never stole anything.”
“You stole—“ Ryan grabbed his hair in frustration.
“I think you stole Ryan’s wits.”
“We should have a debate,” Billy recommended.
“On what?” Krystain asked, with intent.
Billy shrugged. “They been having weekly debates on random shit on the TV. I think we can do the same thing.”
“The presidential debates?” Ryan looked up from his hands. “We aren’t running for president.”
“But why not?”
“We’re not over 35 years old,” Krystain stated.
“Plus you can’t find North Korea on a globe!” Ryan hissed.
“That settles it. We get a recording device and debate on the location of North Korea.”
Ryan and Krystain looked at each other. “Billy, there is no debate about it,” Ryan groaned. “It’s always been above South Korea and under China.”
“Maybe we should debate on other subjects?” Krystain suggested. “And post it online and make a new movement of conscious debating public! We’ll restart the Enlightment Age!”
“Can we lit up now?” Billy asked.
“Oh right, sure.”